Friday, February 6, 2009

Time for a second job!

Well its been a few days since ive posted. Been super busy lol. Ive finally decided that its time for a second job. Ive been in a little bit of debt since July when i was out of work for 2 months and im really trying to get myself out of a rut. So heres my plan:
I should get about 1200 back in taxes.
I have about 600 left to pay on my laptop so im going to completely pay that off. One less bill for me.
Then im going to take the rest and get my car fixed which is in major need of fixing by the way. (tell you about that in a minute)
Then if i get this new job working overnights at Mcdonalds then i should make enough money to be able to get caught up on my insurance payments and also pay off my mom for loaning me 400 to get my car fixed the last time :)
AND THEN....I should deff. be able to get an apartment by the end of the summer...YAY!!!!
So i think my plan will work.
What made me decide to get a second job besides being in minor debt?
Well i was on my way home tonight at 1:45 am lol and i stopped at Mcdonalds for a soda. Well, my cousin Chris works their and hes the overnight manager and told me he could help me get a job their. So i got to normally up till like 5 in the morning because i cant seem to get to sleep so i figure...why waste that time just laying in bed or being on this laptop when i could be working making extra money. I'll sleep from 7am to 2 pm instead of 5am to 2pm lol and then go to work at walmart lol. Sounds like a great idea to me.

So about my car...i swear sometimes its possessed. Ever since the night my friend had a physic at her house reading our car has been doing some pretty crazy stuff. When i turn my headlights windshield wipers come on and then i cant beep my horn. But when my headlights are off my windshield wipers are off and i can beep my horn lol. Well i temporarily fixed the windshield problem by removing this little piece that i have no clue what its called lol. but whenever i need my windshield wipers i just have to insert the little piece back into the socket. Yeah..i need my car rewired i think. So im going to get that done soon. No clue how much its going to cost but im assuming its going to be alot :/ which sucks!!!!

Well anyways, i met this guy Dave. Who is simply just amazing. And for once in a long starting to fall for him. Weve been talking and hanging out for a couple weeks and yesterday he asked me out lol. For once ive found a guy who doesnt seem weird to me. He makes me so happy. Hes someone i can cuddle with and not be pressured into sex thankgod. He makes me laugh non-stop which is a big plus for me because i love a guy who can make me laugh. And he has no problem doing that. Hes very sweet. And im hoping and praying that everything works out!

On a side note...i now have a stalker at Walmart!! I had to have 3 big guys walk me to my car the other night when i got off work. I was so scared. He waited for me to get off work. Started asking me to give him a ride so i had to make an excuse that i didnt have gas and i was in a rush. The 3 guys waited out their until i safely left in my car thankgod. Well, i go into work today to get my check and cash it and there he is again! Im standing in line at customer service...i look over and there he is smiling and waving. So again i had someone walk me to my car. So glad that i have people to watch my back.
Thank you Dusty for always having my back! Your the greatest!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Thankyou Lord!

My brother Matt moved back home for a little while until he gets back on his feet. Its been really nice having him around. Hes really changed alot since he last lived at home. Hes more mature and grown up. Last night, i had gotten out the shower and realized i had forgoten my bag of hair gel outside. I didnt want to go outside and get it with wet hair so i asked my mom if she could but instead, my brother jumped up and said he would. It was very sweet of him. Also, last night when i had to bring my clothes up, he helped me because there were two big piles. I didnt even ask him to help. He just volunteered!!!

My brother used to be a big drug addict. And he always had a short temper when he was on them. He would cuss my mom out, threaten to kill himself, punch holes in the wall, hit me, and complain about everything. So getting to see my brother off the drugs and being a gentlemen warms my heart. My prayers were answered! He stopped doing the drugs almost 2 years ago. And it was all because of this little one:

I'd have to say hes the most wonderful dad ever! Im so proud of him. When i first found out my brothers girlfriend of the time was pregnant....i freaked. I thought to myself "Poor kid, hes going to have it rough"! And i must say, i was completely wrong. My brother quit doing drugs, got a better job, and moved out and got an apartment! I couldnt be any prouder of him! His son is the most precious little boy! I love him to death. And hes very lucky to have my brother as his dad.

As far as his mother goes...shes still on drugs. My brother is still trying to get custody of him! Its so crazy!!! I even went as far as calling social services on her...but did that help???...hmm let me think...NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! It makes me so angry. She returns him to my brother with cuts all over his face all the time! She doesnt keep an eye on him like she should, she takes him out in the middle of the night to drug houses, she sleeps while hes roaming around the house, and she doesnt put a coat on him when she takes him outside!! Its rediculous!! What am i to do??

Heres a poem i wrote back in the day when my brother was on drugs:
I'm heartbroken
My insides are bleeding from the pain
I'm slowly beginning to go insane
Everyday, his actions replay and replay in my mind
Peace is something i just cant find
I'm heartbroken
He continues to scream so loud
Punching everything and gathering a crowd
Yelling and screaming that nobody cares
But everyday hes in my prayers
I'm heartbroken
He's putting holes in the wall
I sit here feeling so hopeless and small
Tears are flowing down my face
I'm so scared, my heart begins to race
I'm heartbroken
Listening and watching everything
My eyes are starting to sting
All i can see is the hurt and pain in the face of my mother
Who sits there worrying, in pain from my brother
I'm heartbroken
Dear God,
Thankyou for answering my prayers and helping my brother get off drugs. Its such an acomplishment! Whenever i need you lord, your there for me. You were there at the time when i was almost raped, you were there when i almost died from phenomonia at the age of 5, you were there when my mother had tumors (prayed they werent cancerous and he answered my prayers), you were there whenever i needed you and you'll always be right by my side.
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scens from his life
For each scen, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand
One belonged to him
and the other the Lord
When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back at the footprints in the sand
he noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints
he also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life
this really bothered him and he questiioned the Lord.
"Lord, you said that once i decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But i have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints, I dont understand why when i needed you most you would leave me."
The lord replied,
"My precious precious child, I love you and i would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you."
Thank You, Lord
I want to thank you, Lord, for life and all that's in it.
Thank you for the day and the for the hour and the minute