Sunday, February 1, 2009

Thankyou Lord!

My brother Matt moved back home for a little while until he gets back on his feet. Its been really nice having him around. Hes really changed alot since he last lived at home. Hes more mature and grown up. Last night, i had gotten out the shower and realized i had forgoten my bag of hair gel outside. I didnt want to go outside and get it with wet hair so i asked my mom if she could but instead, my brother jumped up and said he would. It was very sweet of him. Also, last night when i had to bring my clothes up, he helped me because there were two big piles. I didnt even ask him to help. He just volunteered!!!

My brother used to be a big drug addict. And he always had a short temper when he was on them. He would cuss my mom out, threaten to kill himself, punch holes in the wall, hit me, and complain about everything. So getting to see my brother off the drugs and being a gentlemen warms my heart. My prayers were answered! He stopped doing the drugs almost 2 years ago. And it was all because of this little one:

I'd have to say hes the most wonderful dad ever! Im so proud of him. When i first found out my brothers girlfriend of the time was pregnant....i freaked. I thought to myself "Poor kid, hes going to have it rough"! And i must say, i was completely wrong. My brother quit doing drugs, got a better job, and moved out and got an apartment! I couldnt be any prouder of him! His son is the most precious little boy! I love him to death. And hes very lucky to have my brother as his dad.

As far as his mother goes...shes still on drugs. My brother is still trying to get custody of him! Its so crazy!!! I even went as far as calling social services on her...but did that help???...hmm let me think...NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! It makes me so angry. She returns him to my brother with cuts all over his face all the time! She doesnt keep an eye on him like she should, she takes him out in the middle of the night to drug houses, she sleeps while hes roaming around the house, and she doesnt put a coat on him when she takes him outside!! Its rediculous!! What am i to do??

Heres a poem i wrote back in the day when my brother was on drugs:
I'm heartbroken
My insides are bleeding from the pain
I'm slowly beginning to go insane
Everyday, his actions replay and replay in my mind
Peace is something i just cant find
I'm heartbroken
He continues to scream so loud
Punching everything and gathering a crowd
Yelling and screaming that nobody cares
But everyday hes in my prayers
I'm heartbroken
He's putting holes in the wall
I sit here feeling so hopeless and small
Tears are flowing down my face
I'm so scared, my heart begins to race
I'm heartbroken
Listening and watching everything
My eyes are starting to sting
All i can see is the hurt and pain in the face of my mother
Who sits there worrying, in pain from my brother
I'm heartbroken
Dear God,
Thankyou for answering my prayers and helping my brother get off drugs. Its such an acomplishment! Whenever i need you lord, your there for me. You were there at the time when i was almost raped, you were there when i almost died from phenomonia at the age of 5, you were there when my mother had tumors (prayed they werent cancerous and he answered my prayers), you were there whenever i needed you and you'll always be right by my side.
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scens from his life
For each scen, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand
One belonged to him
and the other the Lord
When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back at the footprints in the sand
he noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints
he also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life
this really bothered him and he questiioned the Lord.
"Lord, you said that once i decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But i have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints, I dont understand why when i needed you most you would leave me."
The lord replied,
"My precious precious child, I love you and i would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you."
Thank You, Lord
I want to thank you, Lord, for life and all that's in it.
Thank you for the day and the for the hour and the minute


  1. i'm so happy for you, your brother and your family. and esp that little one!

    great post hon!

  2. That's great that your brother has turned his life around. Kids have that effect on people, don't they?